Moxiximo
impossible is NOTHING but a wordArchive for April, 2009
what can i do?
I’ve been living for years pursuing targets. I always think that’s the reason to stay alive: targets, targets, targets! I once said that I’m not gonna die before I could achieve all my targets & finish all my works! I was a very ambitious and active, ’til I always felt 24 hours a day is not enough!
And now, what can I do?
I’m living for nothing. I still have targets, and still have things I really wanna do before I die – come on, people are greedy, right?? But it’s like I’m just cutting my time little by little! I’ve never felt as useless as this before!
I don’t know which way I should take. I don’t even know what am I doing right now. I don’t even know what should I do. And I don’t know exactly what I want the most… This way, am I still alive? Physically yes. But, am I worth living without a soul?
Everyday, what I feel is always guilt.
Guilty for wasting my precious time futile. Guilty for not producing something. Guilty for not helping my parents. Guilty for everything I did.
Simply, I’m in my lowest quality of life because of this. No targets. That’s the worst.
God, please guide me through this tormenting life!
it’s garden party!
I always wanna do this garden party stuff for my (someday) wedding ‘coz it sounds cool & fun. I mean, with all the fresh air, green grass, blue sky, white dresses (okay, I mean it’s me who’ll be wearing white)… who doesn’t want it??
Then, yesterday one of my partners – well, I don’t know actually what relative we’ve had – got married in a garden party. I thought it’d be hard to have a garden party in such season – it’s rainy! But I expected a good preparation such as ‘pawang’ since she’s a public figure anyway, so I was hoping there’d be no rainy-season-problem.
Unfortunately, it happened! It was raining quite hard and ruined my hair – I made up my hair with all my heart & in the end I got the rain pouring on to it, duh!
You know what’s the worst of all? I was wearing 7 cm high heels! Ok, you might say “why fuss? it’s just 7 cm high!” But it was a garden party! You know how horrible it is to walk on the wet field with high heels! Those 7 cm heels kept thrusting the soil so it made me hard to walk – or even to stand steady! Therefore, I got my feet hurt all along the party…
So, it’s a big NO to make a garden party in a season like this – I’d rather stand under the evil sun shine than a pouring rain.
Also it’s a big NO NO to wear high heels to a garden party! Well, I’ve got this point before I went out, but since I didn’t have a decent flats so I forced myself to wear those tormenting shoes… So, in my (future) garden party, I’ll put this on the invitation:
Or I’d make a sporty garden party instead, allowing you wearing pretty sneakers to my party. Sounds fun also, eh? Or I’d definitely choose a beach party then you won’t be worry about what shoes to wear. Yeah, that sounds better.
Well, stop it. I don’t even know when will I get married. Not even know whom I’ll be married to!
